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September 29, 2016

The Many Sides of Skopje

September 29, 2016

Skopje, Macedonia is one of the most unique, bizarre, interesting cities we have been to in our travels. In case you’ve never heard of Skopje, it is the largest city and the capital of Macedonia. In case you’ve never heard of Macedonia, or know where it is on a map, let me help you:

 

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Before coming to Macedonia, I knew very little about it. I would go as far to say it was the country I knew the least about. I didn’t even realize until arriving into the city, that it is famous for the birthplace of Mother Theresa. All I really knew was that our Airbnb host in Slovenia told us that Macedonia had some of the freshest fruits and vegetables in the region, and that was enough to get me excited.

I read up on the history of Macedonia before we arrived, various interesting information about how it gained independence in 1991, the different roles Macedonia has played throughout history, and their claim to being the birthplace of Alexander the Great. I’ll spare you the historical details, but we arrived to Skopje intrigued, yet ill-informed of what we would expect to see.

As we pulled into the city, we could tell right away that it was different from the rest of the places we’d seen. It was hectic, huge, and a little rougher than the others. We were caught in traffic for about an hour before arriving to our Airbnb, and were both feeling a bit overwhelmed with the size and grittiness of the city, having just come from 6 days in Montenegro’s secluded nature parks.

As soon as we got into our Airbnb, we were met with the most tranquil and peaceful space that immediately put us at ease. It was two-bedroom penthouse apartment that had a wrap around balcony overlooking the entire city of Skopje (and it was only $35 a night!)  The feeling we had in our apartment overlooking the city was a complete contrast to how frazzled we had just felt navigating the streets. I would soon come to learn that this contradiction was a foreshadowing for how the next two days in Skopje would be.

 

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View from our balcony

Skopje is a heavy mix of old and new. This is obviously not anything unique when it comes to cities in Europe. Almost every country we’ve been to so far has this multi-faceted mix between cultures, religions, and generations. The Balkans as a region is placed (somewhat inconveniently) between the East and West, and we have seen this influence with each and every place we have gone.

But none as dramatic as we saw it in Skopje.

Skopje is an ancient city with the oldest bazaar in the Balkans that is currently in the midst of a gigantic government sponsored renovation project called ‘Skopje 2014’ which is an attempt to give the city a complete overhaul to make it more visually appealing and draw in more visitors. It is also described as a way for the city and country to establish their own identity.  It is clear as soon as you arrive that this project is an extremely controversial one amongst locals (which you’ll see why soon), but as a visitor it was fascinating.

The different sides of Skopje was like nothing I had ever seen before, but made it such a unique city to visit. A little taste:

The Old Bazaar Meets the New Center

 

We started our time in Skopje by walking up to Fortress Kale, which was built in the 6th century and overlooks the city (as fortresses tend to do).

 

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It was the perfect place to take in views of the city and orient ourselves before heading to the Old Bazaar, which was only about a 5 minute walk from the top of the fortress walls.

 

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Headed into the bazaar

I have only ever experienced one other Bazaar in my life, and it happened to be the Great Bazaar in Istanbul, Turkey. I was told that Skopje’s Bazaar is the second largest in the world after Istanbul, and the largest in the Balkans. It was absolutely beautiful; packed with interesting things to look at, delicious baklava to eat, and filled with that old world feel that you would imagine a place like this to have.

 

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Complete with stone streets.

 

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Thanks to the bazaar, Al is now obsessed with getting shaves everywhere we go.

After spending a good amount of time in the Bazaar, Al and I slowly meandered to the newly rebuilt center of the city. We had read a few things about the interesting new statues that were erected in light of the ‘Skopje 2014’ initiative, but we had no idea what we were walking into. Our first glimpse was as followed:

 

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It looks so menacing in person. Apparently this is an ancient warrior king, Philip of Macedon

Once we arrived, we were transported into a completely different world. We both felt like we had entered a different city altogether, and it was such a surreal feeling walking straight from the historic Old Bazaar into the center of Skopje. The best way I can describe it, is an unfinished version of a mixture of Times Square, the Las Vegas Strip, Disney World, and London’s Traflaglar Square.

The statues are meant to be a blended representation of Macedonia’s history over the course of time.

 

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SO. MANY. STATUES!

 

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This was a giant statue that showcased the stages of a woman going from pregnancy to caring for a toddler. She looked miserable in each stage.

 

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The pregnant stages statue was strategically placed in front of Philip’s one hand salute. We assumed from his proud stature that this raised arm is all he had to do to impregnate her.

 

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This is a statue of a woman who has just pushed another woman into the water (see the feet) so she can have her turn to dive. It was urgent that she needed to dive OR ELSE. I’m taking creative license on my description of these.

 

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A large amount of the statues were vandalized by a group protesting the government, and Skopje 2014. Many people were not happy with the outcome and the amount of resources spent on the ‘new’ center.

 

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more of the vandalism in protest.

 

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You have no idea how hard it is to choose what statue pictures to include on this thing. I have about 500.

We barely spoke to each other as we walked around for well over an hour, both of our necks permanently crained back as we each tried to take in everything we were looking at, but it was impossible. It was overwhelming in the most interesting way.

The statues were a mixture of kitschy and awe-inspiring. As weird as they were, you couldn’t help but be somewhat impressed by the formidable size and sheer amount of them everywhere you looked. They were impossible to ignore, but even more so because the large majority of them were splattered with a bright mix of contrasting paint colors, drawing attention to the fact that not everyone in Skopje is as interested in what the new statues represent, and how they cover up and distract from the old center that once stood.

The Matka Canyon: The Good and the Ugly

 

The next day, we drove 30 minutes outside of the busy city of Skopje to explore the Matka Canyon. The canyon is famous for its beauty, unique collection of monasteries that are centuries old scattered throughout the hills, and several deep underwater caves. We were so excited to explore this bit of nature that was just a stone’s throw from the city.

The canyon itself was absolutely stunning. It was one of the most naturally beautiful things I had ever seen:

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However, Al and I both found ourselves extremely disappointed as we hiked along the canyon.  I hesitated to even share this part, because I would never want it to deter anyone from visiting the beautiful country of Macedonia, but it affected our entire experience at the canyon. Among the stunning views and beautiful river, was an unbelievable scattering of trash everywhere we went.

 

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It got so much worse.

 

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We could not walk two steps without running into a trashcan overflowing with trash, plastic bottles floating in the river, coke cans and bags of chips strewn about on every ledge. It was so disappointing to see. We picked up what we could, but it was such a small dent into the amount of trash. It was actually painful to see, and so upsetting to know that tourists and locals alike who come as guests to such a beautiful place in the world, would leave such a negative footprint on this amazing country.

Mother Teresa Walks Into a Club

 

Before we left, I was determined to find the Mother Teresa house. It wasn’t the actual house she was born in Macedonia, but a museum that honored her life and work.

We eventually found it on a road leading out of the city center. As we walked up to the house, I had a hard time focusing on it, as it lay adjacent to something else that was attracting my attention; a night club. The club was in full swing with pounding music from a live band accompanied by strobe lights and balloons. Loads and loads of balloons.

 

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The house that Mother Theresa built.

 

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Right behind it; the house that a bunch of drunk people built

I laughed and told Al that this had been our experience of Skopje in a nutshell. It was history and the old world shoved right next to all the different shades and realities of modern life. Its the kind of thing that throughout history tends to upset people in masses, for fear of too much change. But, as a visitor, I loved it.

On our last night, Al and I sat on our balcony thinking about all the different sides of Skopje that we had seen. As the sun started to set, the sky shone with the most luminescent streaks of gold, lighting up the entire city.

For all the sides that Skopje showed us, this was my favorite.

 

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5 Comments · Labels: Macedonia, Travel

September 23, 2016

24 Hours in Newborn Kosovo

September 23, 2016

I have been trying my best to write about everything we have been doing chronologically and it has been unexpectedly difficult. Finding the time to sit down and write has not been as easy as I thought it would be. I have also found the process of writing about what we are doing to feel much more forced than I expected.

We are constantly on the go here. Every few days we are adjusting to a new city, or a new country (each with its own dialect, alphabet, currency, and road rules). By the time we’re adjusted, we’re off again to a new city. Al and I now (jokingly) fear that for the rest of our lives, we will automatically expect to be moving to a new destination every three days and get instantly restless if this isn’t the case.

It can be tiring at times, but on the flip side, I haven’t been bored for two months. We are still absolutely loving it.

Except when it comes to being able to write about what we are doing while it is still fresh. I have had difficulty motivating myself to write in the evenings after a long day of exploring. I have even found myself struggling with reflecting in general; I have surprisingly been unable to access the feelings, words and thoughts to explain and process everything.

Before leaving, I thought that once we were traveling, the words and thoughts would just flow freely from my brain to my hands. Instead, they are just slowly trickling down, letter by letter, with occasional bouts of blockage. But, I can’t let myself stop. I’m going to keep going. Like my best friend Christie says, I have to write anyway. I know that this is something I want to have so we can always look back on this amazing time in our lives, regardless of my current lack of motivation to document it all. No matter how many times it happens, it is always surprising when you expect things to go one way, and they end up being completely different.

Which, to get back on track, is exactly how I felt about the country of Kosovo.

Although right now I am sitting on a balcony watching the sun set over the Danube river in Belgrade, Serbia, I still need to write about our day in Kosovo. We spent 24 hours in this newborn country 9 days ago, and in travel time that feels like a lifetime ago, so bear with me.

When Al and I were planning our road trip, we knew we wanted to go to Macedonia, but our car insurance didn’t cover us driving through Albania, which meant that we had to pass through Kosovo, the second youngest country in the world.

We thought about driving from Kosovo -> Serbia first, until we found out that this is not possible. Serbia will not allow you to cross their borders through Kosovo, and if you try, they will consider you an enemy of Serbia and seize your passport.

As a result of the ongoing conflict in the region, Kosovo declared independence from Serbia in 2008, and is now recognized by most of the UN as an independent country. However, Serbia does not recognize Kosovo as an independent country and still claims ownership over the whole of Kosovo. Therefore, Serbia also does not recognize the international border between the two countries, and crossing it is currently considered illegal.

When I read this information while we were planning our trip, it was the first time I started to wonder what we were getting ourselves into. Before looking into Kosovo, I just naively assumed we would be fine no matter where we went. Reading about the border crossing conflict made me realize just how little I knew about the area, the war, and where the countries stand today. When pressed to think about it, I could come up with nothing but headlines related to war, bombing, and death connected to the name Kosovo. I started to doubt my own judgement and said to Al, “What are we thinking, booking a night in a place like Kosovo?” 

So, we didn’t. We left a day in the middle of our schedule unbooked, so we could feel it out once we were actually here in the Balkans. Either we would book a night in Kosovo if we felt safe, or we would just drive straight to Macedonia, skipping the whole country.

As the trip went on, I focused on the day to day, but I didn’t forget about Kosovo. Every time we went to our excel spreadsheet to look at our next Airbnb booking, I would glance at the empty spot labeled Kosovo? listed next to September 15th.

About two days before the 15th, we decided to just go for it and book a night in Kosovo. The next day as we packed to leave, our host in Montenegro casually asked where we were off to next. When we answered Kosovo, she instantly had a slight look of terror on her face and just shook her head.

Not a good sign, but we weren’t deterred.

We drove two hours into Pristina, the capital city of Kosovo. My first reaction was of the city; it was large, chaotic, and slightly overwhelming. My second reaction was to laugh at myself, for ever thinking that it wasn’t safe to come to Kosovo.

There was nothing that felt unsafe about it. Not one thing. We felt extremely welcome right away. The locals had nothing but positive reactions when finding out we were from Chicago, and seem to particularly like Americans, which was a pleasant change.

 

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For example, they have a statue of Bill Clinton (with extremely large hands). Their way of thanking him for his help in their independence against the Former Yugoslavia.

 

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In case you want to find the statue, it’s on Bill Klinton Boulevard.

 

We only had a day to spend in the capital, so we decided to spend it walking around the city as much as possible to get a feel for what it was like. I was surprised (only due to my own ignorance on the country) to see how trendy and young the city and its people were. There was beautiful artwork on the buildings, so many unique cafes and bars (with beers for only one Euro), and delicious and affordable restaurants on every corner.  It sounds corny, but the city did have an electric feel to it, unlike anywhere I have experienced so far.

 

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The newborn monument. They change the pattern (currently the clouds) on the monument every year on February 17, the day they declared their independence.

 

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Right next to the Newborn sign, a ‘Route 66’ American themed restaurant.

 

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Things feel even more electric when you’re drinking Peja, Kosovo’s local beer.

 

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Kosovo’s market full of the most random things I’ve ever seen.

We also took a visit to the National Library of Kosovo. The library has a really interesting history. During the war between 1989 – 1999, it saw some shit. During these years of occupation, most of the books and information inside was burned as a way to discourage education.

It was then used to house hundreds of refugees from Croatia and Bosnia during the war.

Once NATO intervened in the war, the library became a secret command center used by the Serbian army. Once this was discovered, all of the materials and documents used by the army inside were destroyed. The library was evacuated and checked for bombs before being put back into use as a library, as it stands now.

 

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Apparently, the library is meant to resemble the brain.

 

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I went inside and discovered a room dedicated to American history, where students were watching a documentary about Edward Snowden.

After spending the day exploring (and really failing at taking pictures on my end) we ended our day by sitting on our balcony overlooking a quiet part of the city:

 

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Our only regret is that we didn’t have more time to explore everything Kosovo had to offer.

In the end, I am glad that we didn’t let the opinions of others, or the media portrayal of a place stop us from going and seeing it with our own eyes. All the research in the world still can’t tell me what it is really like to experience a place for the first time. I can only learn the truth by seeing it for myself.

And the truth about Kosovo, is that it left us with nothing but amazing memories.

1 Comment · Labels: Kosovo, Travel

September 21, 2016

The Farm and the Mushroom: A Tale of Two Parks

September 21, 2016

Montenegro itself is a small country, only slightly smaller than the US state of Connecticut, but every single bit of it that we have driven has been full of stunning natural beauty. It is also home to five national parks. Al and I wanted to see them all, but in order to keep our trip moving along within the time frame we needed, we knew we had to narrow it down to just two.

We ended up deciding on Durmitor National Park and Biogradska Gora for the hiking and rainforest exploring opportunities. Both places were completely unique, and our experiences were also heavily shaped by the locations in which we stayed, which I have named The Farm and The Mushroom.

So, here for your reading pleasure, is the tale of two parks.

 

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Seemed like a good dramatic picture worthy for the start of a tale.

The Farm and Durmitor National Park

 

After leaving Kotor, we drove about two hours north through the mountains to a small ski town called Virak, Žabljak. This small mountain town is right at the base of Durmitor National Park, which is also a protected national UNESCO world heritage park in Montenegro. The park itself was formed by glaciers, and also boasts the deepest gorges in Europe along the Tara canyon.

 

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The Tara River running through the canyon.

 

Our Airbnb near Žabljak was located on a family farm right at the foot of Durmitor mountain and was settled at the top of a low hill, overlooking acres of green pristine farmland. Al and I felt giddy when we arrived; it was exactly what we were looking for. Our Airbnb was a small one bedroom lofted home with a warm cottage feel. It even had a small wood burning fire place for us to use at night.

The bedroom was up a set of stairs in the attic and each step creaked as you walked up the old wooden planks. The feel of being here, mixed with the smell, sounds and overall serenity of being on the farm immediately transported me back to staying at my grandma’s farm in Illinois; I was hit with an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. It was a comfort just knowing that feeling still existed in the world and within myself.

Right when we walked out of our front door, we were greeted with unbelievably fresh air and the most beautiful, peaceful view. We spent the first 10 minutes simply sitting in silence, breathing in the clean air. From a picnic table next to our place, we could sit with a fresh cup of coffee and watch the roosters, chickens, cows, sheep, and goats graze the land. I watched as a woman slowly walked behind her flock of sheep, as I imagine she does every day, like it was the most natural thing in the world. It was so calming and comforting to watch the world go by this way.

 

 

 

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I still can’t believe this was real.

 

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The mountain right behind us.

As we were getting settled, the host brought us freshly made cheese from the cows and asked if we would like her to bring over some fresh milk. Obviously, I said yes, never one to pass up anything that is free or fresh, and she responded by saying she would have to wait until the cows came in before making the milk.

I got way too much enjoyment out of knowing that we’d have to ‘wait until the cows come home’ and due to my reaction, I am sure she left wondering why she always got stuck greeting the weird guests.

Al and I had 3 nights at the farm (about 2.5 days), and we both agreed we could have easily stayed an entire week. Here we saw some of the most stunning landscapes of our entire trip so far.

The three main activities we did:

Walked around Crno Jezero (Black Lake) 

When we arrived, the first thing we did was drive to Durmitor national park (3 Euro a person for entrance fee) and walk the 2 miles around the famous Black Lake. Black lake is actually made up of two lakes connected by a stream (Big lake and Little lake). The lake is completely surrounded by alpine forest and beautiful mountain peaks.

The lake is popular for its beauty, but it is also the center of Durmitor National Park. Nearly all of the hiking paths in Durmitor begin at Black Lake.

 

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Black Lake

 

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Another view of the lake

 

Rafting on the Tara River

We had been talking about doing some rafting the entire trip, so we figured there was no better place to try it than the Tara River. The Tara River Canyon is among the deepest and longest in the world (51 miles long, 4,300 feet deep) crossing both Bosnia – Herzegovina and Montenegro.

Our hosts graciously offered to set us up with our rafting trip the night before, and we decided to go for it without looking up any information on the levels of the river. This bad decision proved to be our rafting downfall. The next day, we were picked up at 9am, and drove about 40 minutes with a group of 9 to the river.

The rapids are the best in the Spring (which we would’ve known had we done any research) and in the late summer/early fall, going rafting is more like a relaxing river ride than an adventure. We slowly drifted through the canyon for about two hours, taking in the beauty of the area. There was little to no paddling involved, and at times, we went through long stretches with non stop mosquitos flying at our faces. It wouldn’t have been so bad if we were expecting it, but since we were hoping for something a little more adventurous and fast paced, it wasn’t what we were looking for.

In the end, we were disappointed for a few reasons (we didn’t have a great experience with the company itself, or the group we were lumped in) but learned an important lesson about booking things last minute with minimal research.

Afterwards, a few people in our group zip-lined the gorge and we got to walk along the beautiful Tara River Bridge, taking in the unbelievable scenery, which made it all worth it.

 

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The Tara Bridge.

 

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Gorgeous River Tara.

 

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Before the Rafting.

 

Hiking the Jabalan Jezero Trail

We spent our 3rd day going on a stunning hike deep in the national park. The hike we chose was the Jabalan Jezero trail, which begins at the Black Lake. We agreed it was the most beautiful, challenging hike we had gone on in the Balkans up until that point.

A few pictures to give you an idea of what it was like:

 

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The beginning of the trail.

 

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arriving to the lake.

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A different perspective of Black Lake.

The Mushroom and Biogradska Gora

 

After our time in Durmitor, we headed east for two nights in Biogradska Gora, which is a national park containing one of the last remaining European rainforests. It also is full of mountains, lakes, and forests that are over 500 years old.

More importantly though, we were staying in a giant mushroom.

 

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Behold.

 

We booked the mushroom several months ago, and we booked it because it is a giant mushroom, and you would have to be crazy not to want to stay in a giant mushroom.

The mushroom was everything we hoped it would be and it even came with the sweetest maine coon kitty. Here are some more pictures for anyone who cares about what it looks like to live inside a giant mushroom (which is everyone. everyone cares).

 

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A rare look into the inside of the top of a giant mushroom

 

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Can you spot the kitty?

Mushroom homes aside, we drove about 20 minutes to the park (also 3 euro to get in). Similar to Durmitor, all hikes sprout out of the edges of a central lake, Biogradsko Lake. Our first day, we walked around the lake and through the rainforest before returning to the ‘shroom to rest for our big hike the next day.

Al and I wanted to go on a more challenging hike here, and we paid the price for it. I won’t even bother putting the name of the hike down, because whatever we started off intending to do, it all went completely wrong and we ended up on a non-existent hiking trail.

The trail started off innocently enough, as we began by ascending up a muddy path. The path diverted onto a more steep incline through the forest, and then things started to get a bit more difficult.

For the next two hours we hiked/climbed through the forest at a 45 degree angle. I have never felt more out of shape in my entire life than I did on this part of the hike. It felt as though my heart was physically trying to beat itself out of my chest to escape the hike.

Once we got to the top of the first mountain (that should’ve been a red flag for me, that there even was a first mountain) I thought the hardest part was over. If had known in that moment what was coming ahead of me, I probably would’ve just dropped to my side and tried to barrel roll myself back down to the bottom.

At this point, Al and I could see a mountain peak above us. We wanted to get to that mountain peak to take in the best views of the park, and being the impatient, instant gratification seekers that we are, we wanted to be there as fast as possible. Instead of taking the winding road up to the top of the 2nd mountain, we decided to take the more direct path straight up the side of the mountain.

Here is a pro tip to anyone reading: If you are on a hike and you have two choices, one being a clearly marked walking trail, the other being a very poorly indented foot path surrounded by shrubbery (that may actually not be a foot path at all) and shoots straight up the side of a mountain, always choose the marked path. ALWAYS.

Sometimes it’s okay -even genius-  to not take the road less travelled.

As we started going up the mountain, we had to climb at a 60 degree angle while holding on to long blades of grass for grip in order to not fall off the side of the mountain. At first, it was sort of thrilling (in that adrenaline inducing every-step-could-be-your-last way), but I quickly realized that the peak was much much higher than it originally looked.

At this point we had been climbing for about 40 minutes and were about halfway up when we realized that this mountain may not actually be a part of the hikeable portion of the park.  From our viewpoint, there were no paths, no roads, nothing. To make things better, a huge storm started rolling in over the surrounding mountains. It was in this moment, stuck on the middle of a mountain hanging on by a thick clump of grass, with thunder exploding in my ears and lightening moving closer each second, that I had the clearest, truest thought of my life:

This is by far the dumbest thing you have ever done.

Al and I had to make a decision, go up or down? Do we keep climbing the mountain in hopes that there is some kind of path or trail on the other side, or do we try and slide back down, risking our lives to get back to our starting point?

As we looked down the sloping mountain, I knew nothing good could come out of us trying to retrace our steps, so we decided to move upwards. Occasionally we were greeted by the loudest rumblings of thunder and the jolting whip of a lightening crack, which would send us scurrying like rats up the mountain as quickly as possible. I tried to look back at the advancing storm as little as possible because each time I did it filled me with a very unique type of helpless fear; the kind you can only feel when being chased by a force of nature.

At one point, Al let out a high pitched scream* from above, and I was sure he was about to slip. He told me he was fine and it wasn’t until hours later, after we were safely back on the ground, that he told me he had stepped on a nest of snakes, but didn’t want to cause me to panic while we were on the mountain.

It took us about two hours to scale up the side of this mountain. Once we got to the top, it was one of the worst feelings I have ever had: there were no roads; only more mountains that we hadn’t been able to see from our previous spot.

We walked around the top of (this) mountain desperately looking as far as we could for the closest road, and finally spotted a small winding trail going down the side. I have never been so happy in my life to see a road. We decided to sit down for a minute take a few pictures and regain our strength before descending. It was probably about 5 minutes of doing this before I heard the unmistakeable sound of hooves behind me.

I turned around to see three bulls staring at us from about 200 feet away. My first thought was how the hell did these bulls get all the way up here? and then my second thought was much more practical, which was Run. RUN RIGHT NOW!

So, we did. We ran/walk/slid down the side of the mountain away from the bulls as quickly as we could. We did not look back and we did not say a word to each other this entire time; both of us separately cursing ourselves for getting each other into this situation.

30 minutes later, we hit road and reveled in the ultimate sense of relief for having survived the mountain. I had a brief urge to kiss the ground, but decided it against it. If I had made it this far, the last thing I was going to do was get some kind of infection from doing something as stupid as accidentally eating parasite infested dirt. Instead, I just mentally thanked the mountain for not eating us alive.

It took us over another hour of walking down the WELL MARKED path to finally get back to our car and get the hell out of there.

We celebrated our day of adventure by retreating to our mushroom, and enjoying cold wine and fresh vegetables.

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Halfway up the mountain.

 

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The look on Al’s face the moment we realized we were really, really screwed.

 

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We made it – right before we saw the bulls.

 

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Post hike – back on a real road, in front of the spot where our stupid decision was made.

 

Even with some unexpected twists, our time exploring the wilder, less travelled side of Montenegro was something that Al and I absolutely loved. For as long as we live, we will always remember our unusual, adventurous, breathtakingly beautiful days spent between the farm and the mushroom.

Meg

*Al would like me to clarify his high pitched scream was actually a low masculine shout, and that the wind likely distorted it by the time it reached my ears.

 

 

3 Comments · Labels: Montenegro, Travel

September 19, 2016

Underestimating Kotor: A Post From Al

September 19, 2016

When you plan a trip to a region you’ve never been to, you are at the mercy of pictures, blogs, and guidebooks. You can never truly know if a destination will meet your expectations or if photographers simply took the one attraction and then beautified it with the best angle and lighting.

When we planned our brief stint in Kotor, Montenegro I had seen this image over and over again.

 

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The Bay of Kotor courtesy of Google

This is the quintessential image that you will see in any online search, guidebook, and tourist office if you plan on traveling to Kotor. Having known little about the region prior to our trip, I got in the habit of Copy & Pasting myself into these pictures. It helped me imagine where we were going and held enthusiasm high of our upcoming adventure.

Way back during our planning phase, we had booked so many AirBnbs in so many cities in the Balkans that certain places just became another stop along the way. As our time in Dubrovnik was ending, I realized that Kotor became a victim in this grand adventure.  I said to myself “Okay. Kotor is next….Kotor??? (googles Kotor image) OHHHH Kotor! Right, I remember now! (copy and paste myself into google image and feel adequately excited)

 

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Just like the real thing

Everything I was expecting was simple: the lake, the mountains, the sky. Nothing more.  I acknowledge that this is a tragic way to think of a beautiful town in Montenegro but the Balkans are known for being mountainous, with loads of rivers, lakes, and seas. On top of that,  we had already driven through a good chunk of the region and saw a lot of mountains, rivers, and seas.  Regardless, that’s how I imagined it and I was expecting to grab a seat near the water and look at the lake, the sky, and the mountains.

As we approached the bay after a two-hour drive from Dubrovnik, my expectations had no choice but to be pummeled into the ground. Yeah it had all the features I was expecting but nothing can prepare you for being in the Bay of Kotor. While I sat at this tiny dock, completely surrounded by mountains, I couldn’t help but feel especially small in this world.

 

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Thinking about life, probably.

When we finally made it to our AirBnB. “Okay, we made it to Kotor” I thought to myself. “Now let’s grab some chairs and talk about how awesome this view is!” We threw our bags down and walked all but three minutes to the water’s edge where a great seaside restaurant awaited us. We wolfed down amazing meals, sipped our Nigsisko beers, talked about the view, and topped it off with a brief swim and reading session by the nearby beach. “This is Kotor” I thought “I have zero issue with this” and mentally prepared myself for two days of slow-paced, bay living.

 

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I can get used to this.

I can’t remember who did the small bit of research, but we later found out that Kotor has an Old Town roughly ten minutes down the road. We showered, loaded into our VW, and decided to check out the night life.

During our trip thus far, Megan and I have become fairly accustomed to Old Towns. A lot of our destinations have had them and most sport the same cobble stone streets lined with gelato shops and shoe stores. As we walked through the streets of Kotor, I noticed that there were gelato and shoe shops along stone-paved walkways, but there was A LOT more in its DNA that you can sense immediately.

 

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Kotor loves cats, therefore, I love Kotor.

The shops were unique, the restaurants showcased live music, the bars were bustling with locals, and all nestled at the foot of this tremendous mountain fortress. Most Old Towns show remnants of their medieval pasts with the watch towered walls, drawbridges, and primary church in its center. So when I learned that Kotor’s old town was protected by this fortress, I soon realized that Kotor trumps all of them; especially because you can scale this beast with a nominal fee. Our plans for the next day were set.

 

My attempt at subtlety

My attempt at subtlety

The next morning we meandered through the streets asking shop venders for “stairs up” and eventually found a man towards the rear of old town (hopefully he works for the city) and gave him the nine Euro to access the stairway. Fueled by coffee, bread, and cheese we began the thigh-burning ascent to the top of the fortress. The stairs themselves are rather narrow so our climb consisted of a lot of zigzagging through groups, side-stepping, and doing the “no, you go…NOOO, you go!” wave that every awkward person excels at.

 

All smiles this early in the ascent

All smiles this early in the ascent

The night prior, I had read a blog that continuously noted to keep climbing. If you think the view is great, keep climbing. The church halfway up is not the fortress, keep climbing. Keep climbing, keep climbing, keep climbing. So I kept this in my mind as we reached the many checkpoints along the way; church, garrison, lookout etc. Just keep moving up and more will reveal itself.

 

Our sweaty gang

Our sweaty gang. A lonnggg way to go.

 

Exploring the backyard of the fortress

Exploring the backyard of the fortress

Needless to say, at the end of our hike upwards, our thighs cursed us but our eyes thanked us. The view atop Kotor was absolutely breathtaking.  While resting and overlooking the bay, I kept thinking back to my copy and pasted picture of myself in Kotor. I was upset that I had allowed my brain to underwhelm itself prior to arriving to Kotor. I had thought that my experience was going to be nothing more than lakes, sky, and mountains, and came away humbled.  We picked these destinations months prior to actually visiting them and your mind can do a lot of things during that time. You can occasionally lose sight of the meaning of travel and not boil it down to living the copy and paste version of a google image.

 

Glory to those that survive!

Glory to those that survive!

Until next time.

-Al

 

5 Comments · Labels: Montenegro, Travel

September 14, 2016

Gaining Perspective in Mostar

September 14, 2016

Before coming to the Balkans, I was vaguely aware of the fact that it was once called Yugoslavia. I have fuzzy memories of learning geography in elementary school and seeing the words Former Yugoslavia in faded parenthesis across the entire region that we are now traveling through, with each new individual country listed in much bolder lettering: Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia – Herzegovina, Serbia, Macedonia, Montenegro. 

I remember thinking to myself in the most offhand way I wonder why they decided to stop calling it Yugoslavia? and then moved on with my eight year old American life and refocused on trying to remember all 50 of our states and their capitals, not giving (Former Yugoslavia) another thought.

I cannot imagine what that confused eight year old girl would have thought if she knew that one day she would spend two months driving through each and every country that had once made up Yugoslavia.

The truth is that before coming here, 30 year old me knew almost about as much as I did sitting in that geography lesson 22 years ago. Basically nothing.

I wanted to learn more about the countries we were planning on traveling through, the history, the landscapes, and what exactly happened that lead to the war in the 90’s. I planned to do some research before leaving the United States, but got sidetracked with so many distractions (moving, planning, booking, etc) that I arrived in Slovenia with only a basic understanding.

My brain absorbs information so much better when I am fully immersed in something. Since arriving to the Balkans, I have not been able to stop digesting books about the Balkans and what happened here 25 years ago. It has been one of the most eye opening and impactful experiences I’ve ever had; reading about the history of a country, and looking up from the pages to see the exact scenery, street, monument or building the author is describing. There is nothing like it.

What I’ve learned about the history of Yugoslavia and the war here in the 1990’s is so complex, so horrific, that I struggled with the morality behind even writing about it. It is not my story, this is not my homeland, it was not my struggle. I can never pretend to understand the reality of what it was like. I am a foreigner visiting for a short stint; the least qualified of all to pass opinions in this situation.

But, I do think that it is even worse to pretend that this didn’t happen, and that it is not something that has impacted us on this trip, because it has. As selfish as it probably is, I felt the need to process it.

Like I mentioned before, I do not claim to know or understand the truth of the war in the 1990’s, as there are so many conflicting sides, but here is an article that breaks it down in very general terms for anyone interested: Key Facts about the Balkan War.

The war in Bosnia lasted from 1992 – 1995. During this time, it is estimated that over 200,000 died, and over 2 million people were forced out of their homes, becoming displaced refugees. Although all countries were impacted heavily, the war in Bosnia is what hit the hardest.

The attempt to wipe out all Bosnian Muslims was the worst case of genocide in Europe following World War II. It sometimes seems that we as humanity have an extremely difficult time learning anything from our mistakes.

What seems to be the most painful part of this war, is that it wasn’t an attack from a faraway, unidentifiable enemy. It was a civil war that turned neighbors and friends against each other due to ethnic divides. In some of the books I read, the authors recounted stories of their favorite teachers, coaches, neighbors, and even closest friends turning guns on them during the war.

What I learned about Bosnia through the words of people (barely older than me) who had survived the war felt like someone dumped cold water all over my face while I was sleeping. It was a huge wake up call.

I tried to wrap my head around the fact that this happened in the early 90’s. When I was sitting on my couch eating tortillas with cheese and fruit by the foot, watching Rugrats after soccer practice, while kids my exact age (and younger) were being starved, tortured, and brutally murdered in the same countries I am currently traveling through.

Often times, my generation enjoys reminiscing about the glory days of the 90’s, and I now appreciate just how lucky we are to be able to do this; simply because of where we were born. It is something I will never again take for granted; to have a childhood, and to have had it without war.

There was one common thread that stretched throughout each book I finished, and it was that the city that suffered the greatest during this time was Mostar.

 

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One of the authors referred to Mostar as the ‘Stalingrad’ of the 90’s war, alluding to just how bad the situation was for this city.

Mostar was under siege for 9 months during the war and lost over half of its population to death or displacement. Most of the city was destroyed, including its old town along with dozens of historical and important monuments being completely wiped out.

The most notable being the Stari Most bridge, the famous symbol and namesake of Mostar.

The bridge was constructed in the 16th century, and served as a crucial crossing point through Europe. It was regarded as one of the world’s most beautiful bridges, and then destroyed in 1993 during the war. It was rebuilt and reopened (to almost an exact replica) in 2004.

 

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These were the things that were running through my mind during our two-day visit to Mostar. I had read that you could still see remnants of the war everywhere; holes patterned in buildings due to incessant shelling; dilapidated buildings that had once stood strong and were now ruins, and a completely rebuilt Old Town. We learned on arrival that this was all true.

 

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When we crossed the border to Bosnia from Croatia, and began driving to Mostar, I couldn’t believe how dramatically the landscape changed. Less than an hour ago, we had been driving through green hills and coast line, and now we were zig zagging through a valley of huge, stunning brown rocky mountains.

 

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When we arrived to Mostar, we immediately noticed the change; there were mosques throughout the city, old run down buildings slumped beside brand new ones, prayer read in the evening over the loudspeaker, mountains peeking over the tops of buildings from every spot, all set on opposite sides of a beautiful winding river.

 

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We walked from our Airbnb to the Old Town that we knew had been rebuilt, and I will never forget how I felt when I rounded the corner and Stari Most came into view. I identified in that moment, one of my favorite feelings: seeing something you have read, learned and dreamed about in real life for the first time. After reading so much about it, it was a completely different experience to see it come to life in front of my eyes.

 

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The next day, our best friends Nina and Zach arrived, and we decided to spend the day at Kravice waterfall; about a 30 minute drive from Mostar. The waterfalls are beautiful, and a huge bonus is that you are welcome to swim in them, unlike with Plivitce in Croatia.

We swam, Zach and Al jumped off cliffs, drank beer, and had a delicious lunch. It was a perfect day.

 

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Afterwards, the four of us headed back to Mostar. We spent the evening walking through the city, eating a local Bosnian dinner, smoking hookah, and admiring the bridge from all angles.

More than once, I found myself  looking around this stunning city that had seen so much destruction and death only two decades ago, and wondering how in the world I was able to get so lucky in my life. I was sitting in a restaurant with my husband and two of my best friends, drinking wine and laughing over ridiculous conversation, traveling the world, and I felt so thankful for every simple and grand thing that I have ever been given in my entire life.

This post doesn’t really have a happy ending. Mostar is still recovering from the damage of the war, as are so many people and cities throughout the region that lost everything. But after seeing the worst of humanity, they are moving on and rebuilding all the same.

All I can say is that sometimes travel can teach us so much about life. It can show us time and time again that there is a much bigger world out there and we are only a very small part of it.  As cliche as it is, making the effort to see things through the eyes of others reminded me that it is important to understand life and the world from all sides, even when we feel it does not directly impact us. There is so much to be gained from understanding and learning from others who do not live our experiences; even if it is not pleasant. Especially if it is not pleasant.

It also reminded me that even when things feel difficult, I have so much to be thankful for. It is important that I remind myself of that. Every single day. And that is something I will never forget.

 

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4 Comments · Labels: Bosnia & Herzegovina, Travel

September 12, 2016

Is Croatia’s Dalmatian Coast the Most Beautiful in the World?

September 12, 2016

I have no idea what to say about Croatia’s coast that would do it justice. Before coming here, I pictured it would be stunning; rocky cliffs, open ocean, winding roads, that whole thing. I was right for the most part. It is all of those things, but it is also so much more that I never could’ve imagined:

Hundreds of grape vines, lavender fields, olive groves that go on for miles, mountains that seem to grow straight out from the sea, lime trees, ancient castles that appear from nowhere off the side of a cliff, beautiful towns filled with old stone buildings topped with a blanket of red roofs. On top of all that, visible from nearly every road we’ve taken;

The clearest water I have ever seen in my entire life.

 

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We have spent weeks exploring different towns along the coast of Croatia, and I knew I would have a difficult time figuring out how to write about each one of them in a meaningful way.

After leaving Molat, we headed down the coast, stopping in the following five coastal towns:

 

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Tribunj, Split, Hvar, Korčula, Dubrovnik

(we also took a two day detour through Bosnia, but I’m saving that for a separate post). Instead of attempting to write about each city individually, I decided to do something much lazier, and rank the five cities in ascending order, starting with my least favorite. I should also point out that I did love all of the cities, so it is like comparing different shades of gold, but who doesn’t like a good list?

5. SPLIT

 

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Split and I did not get along as well as I had hoped. The reason that it comes in 5th place is mostly because it was crawling with what felt like an entire cruise ship full of kids on spring break. The Old Town itself was absolutely beautiful; centered around a huge palace with the classic winding, narrow European streets.

On top of exploring the history and beauty of the city, we loved being able to go on a quest to find locations used in Game of Thrones, one of our favorite shows.

 

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look at me! Casually strolling down a GoT filming location in Split and being totally normal about it.

Favorite thing we did:

Because of the crowds, we were craving some solitude where we could really enjoy Split the way we wanted to. Luckily, Split has a park area that basically grows out of the city center, called Marjan Hill.

Marjan hill is about 2 miles long, and packed with nature, trails for biking, running, or hiking, and 360 degree views of Split:

It was the perfect day excursion for us, and gave us the introvert fix we were needing.

 

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ahh silence.

4. TRIBUNJ

 

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Tribunj is a quiet fishing village, and claims to have the cleanest, clearest water in the Adriatic. In my opinion, the water was about as clean and clear as any of the other cities we went to, but I guess it’s a good enough excuse as any to check out this small town. We stayed in the the Old Town (which is really tiny) which is connected to the rest of the mainland by a single stone bridge.

This town isn’t particularly a ‘hot spot’ but its location along the tourist waterway in Croatia means it is frequented more often. It seems like popular things to do here are scuba dive, eat, drink, relax, and boat. We were only here for two nights, but it was the ideal place to rest after Split.

Favorite thing we did:

The perfect location of our Airbnb is what made this stop so memorable. Our tiny studio opened right up to the sea, with our very own patio. We could swim, read, and when we were hungry, just throw our stuff back into our apartment and walk two steps to a restaurant. It was perfect.

 

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Swimming here was amazing.

3. DUBROVNIK

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Before we went to Dubrovnik, I had read horror stories about the insanely expensive costs and masses of tourists that clog the streets from June through September. One blog I read even described their experience walking through Dubrovnik’s walls during tourist season as ‘entering the gates of hell.’

Therefore, I set my expectations accordingly, and braced myself for the crowds, and the potential reality of entering a giant tourist trap that had passed its glory days as ‘the jewel of the Adriatic.’

I don’t know if it is because I expected things to be much worse, but I ended up loving Dubrovnik. Yes, there were crowds, and yes, things were a bit more expensive than what we had been used to, but overall I completely understood why Dubrovnik is as popular as it is.

There is something grander, more imposing about Dubrovnik compared to all the other old cities we saw. Perhaps it is because my mind associates it with Game of Thrones, but even more so, it is just such an impressive looking place. The stone walls wrapping around for what looks like miles, hundreds of copper red roofs and cathedral-like buildings, the huge circular watch tower placed in the forefront, the giant castle to the right of the city, all built on TOP of huge cliffs. It’s so old, and so well preserved.

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The fortress.

 

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Walking the city walls surrounding the Old Town

 

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We loved spending all morning walking these walls.

 

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Looking over my kingdom.

Favorite Thing We Did:

This one is almost impossible to pick a favorite memory for. Al and I were lucky enough to be able to explore Dubrovnik with two of our best friends Nina and Zach, which made our time here so much sweeter. We went on hikes, explored the Old town together, and even spent an hour playing around on a floating water playground. Not to mention, we also found great entertainment in recreating some Game of Thrones scenes:

 

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Personally, I think we did it better.

One of my favorite memories would have to be the moment that we walked into our shared Airbnb, blasted the Game of Thrones theme song, and drank wine out of goblets together overlooking the Old Town (also known as King’s Landing). It was one of those surreal life moments I’ll never forget.

 

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Life is so much better with friends like these.

2. KORČULA

 

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Al and I went from Hvar to the island of Korcula, which meant that we had to drive about 5 hours and take two separate car ferries. We seriously considered cancelling our time in Korčula because of how much we were loving Hvar, and the effort it was going to take to get all the way to the island of Korčula. We decided to just bite the bullet and make the trip, considering we had already booked the accommodation.

As soon as the car ferry docked on the island, I was so glad we decided not to bail on Korčula. We stayed in the small fishing village of Lumbarda, only about 3 miles from Korčula’s Old Town (where they claim Marco Polo was born).

 

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Apparently Venice also claims he was from there too, so who knows?

Bonus: The island of Korčula is also covered with wineries, and famous for it’s delicious GRK wine. It’s also just stunningly beautiful:

 

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Happy as can be.

 

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Wineries and old churches. So cool

 

Favorite thing we did:

My favorite memory of Korčula is also one of my top favorite memories of our entire trip so far. After a day of swimming and hiking, we decided to hop in our car, roll the windows down and drive around to the west side of the island. We expected to go for a quick 30 minute drive, but the scenery was so mind blowing, that the drive ended up being over two hours.

At one point, we were driving through the middle of a mountain; the sea on our left and the road winding up the edges of the mountain. We were so close to the sun, which was floating in the sky, radiating the surrounding landscape with a fiery red-orange hue. The colors of the sea, mountains, and sky all started to blend together to the point that I was no longer sure if we were driving on the road or if the car had actually lifted into the air and was driving us into the sun.

Al and I were both too awe-struck in the moment to take a single picture of the drive, but it is one that I will remember forever.

 

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1. HVAR

Finishing off this list in my number one spot is the island of Hvar.

 

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Hvar was my favorite island, because of how beautiful and diverse the landscape was. Hvar had some of the most magnificent sea views we had seen yet, but also had lavender fields, olive groves, so many different types of fruit orchards, vineyards (obviously) and even pine forests.

Hvar also has the original Stari Grad (meaning Old Town) and is the oldest town in all of Croatia, dating back to 384 BC.

 

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Beautiful streets of the OG Stari Grad

There are only so many ways for me to keep describing how unbelievably beautiful these islands are, so I am just going to say that Hvar was (in my opinion) the best of them all.

 

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You can get fresh glasses of wine off the street straight from the winery. What can be better?!

Favorite Thing We Did:

Hands down, renting a little motorboat to chug ourselves around the Paklinski Islands for a day was one of my favorite days on our trip thus far. The Paklinski Islands are right off the southwest coast of Hvar. We packed a delicious lunch, some water, and beer, and set off exploring.

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Hvar in our rear view mirror.

 

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We felt like we had the whole world at our fingertips with our little boat. We would stop and anchor to explore coves, swim in the sea, or just to simply look around and fully take in what we were doing. We spent six hours adventuring and pretending we were explorers out on the open sea, and headed back to the mainland completely satisfied with our day.

 

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If that isn’t satisfaction in a picture, I don’t know what is.

 

Now that I’ve experienced a huge chunk of Croatia’s coast, I can finally consider my own question to myself: Is it the most beautiful coastline in the world?

I have no idea. It is such a subjective question, and is impossible to answer as I have not yet seen all the coastlines in the world (but I will continue to work on it for as long as I live).

However, I can say that I would be really, really shocked to find one out there that offers more than what we experienced during our time here.

Al and I already miss our long, sunny sea-filled days spent along Croatia’s coast.  It is something that I know I will always look back on as some of the most fun, beautiful and carefree days of our entire trip.

 

7 Comments · Labels: Croatia, Life, Travel

September 3, 2016

One Month on the Road: Regrets on Leaving Home to Travel

September 3, 2016

It has been one month since we left home to start this adventure. Two months since we left our great jobs, moved out of our beautiful city, and headed into unknown territory.

For years, we planned and saved and hoped that we could make this dream happen. As much as we wanted this, a huge part of me was also overcome with fear. There were more doubts than I could count:

Is this a huge mistake? What if we hate it? How can we give up the life that we worked so hard for to do something like this? What if we never find good jobs again? 

The list went on, the nagging questions constantly swirling around in my head. In the end we decided to ignore the doubts, follow our hearts, and hope for the best.

So now that we are officially one month into our trip, do we have regrets?

The answer is no. There is not a single regret.

Here’s why:

 

 

3 Comments · Labels: Croatia, Life, Slovenia, Travel

August 29, 2016

Working on Relaxing in Molat

August 29, 2016

Al and I planned a large chunk of this road trip in between the cracks of our over-scheduled days back in Chicago. Plans would be agreed upon over GChat after a client call, or in between shoving bites of my salad into my face while eating lunch at my desk, frantically clicking between the tabs on my google chrome browser.

I would tell myself things like, close two new contracts today, and you can reward yourself by booking your next Airbnb in Montengro. At the time, it was the ultimate motivator.

Now I’m at an interesting point, because I am actually living out the reality of Frantic Work Megan’s choices. So far, we have stayed in 12 Airbnbs, and have dozens more to go over the next few months. With each new Airbnb we step foot in, it almost feels as though I am briefly stepping back in time, getting a glimpse into the mental space of Frantic Work Megan when she was booking these places.

Turns out, six-months-ago me spent most of her time dreaming about not being behind a desk, and swimming in the open ocean. And so, that is exactly what current me has been doing.

After the first few days in Croatia, we booked a three night stay on a very tiny, very remote island called Molat, about 40 miles off of the coast of Zadar. I remember booking the Airbnb at the time, and feeling really excited about the idea of staying somewhere ‘off the beaten path’ and away from civilization (this particular booking probably happened after a rough day on the phones and I likely never wanted to speak to another human again).

What amazes me is that even though I probably needed this remote island break when we booked it months ago, it ended up being exactly what I needed at this point on the real version of our trip. We had spent the days leading up to Molat hopping around busy cities and being surrounded by tourists; we were ready for some solitude.

After a 2 1/2 hour ferry ride from Zadar, we pulled right into the main harbor on Molat.

 

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The harbor. Doesn’t look so remote, does it?

Molat is a small island, and consists of only three separate ‘villages,’ Zapuntel, Brgulje, and the village which we stayed in, creatively named Molat.  There is one ferry per day that brings people to and from Molat, and it is regularly described as the perfect place to go for those looking for simplicity and peace, or as one website put it, “a place for hermits.”

Once we got off the ferry, our wonderful Airbnb host was waiting to meet us. Our place was an adorable one bedroom apartment that was only about 10 second walk from the bay, and a 5 second walk from the nearest ‘restaurant’ (which turned out to be the only restaurant)

We pulled up and I thought to myself ‘oh, there’s people here! This can’t be that remote!’  I learned almost instantly that I was very wrong.

 

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The cutest Airbnb there ever was.

 

We quickly learned a few things about this island:

  1. There was only one place open to eat while we were there. It only serves pizza, and it isn’t open until 4pm (there were others on the island, but they were all closed every single time we went to look at them. Another island mystery)
  2. Everything else closes between 1:00pm – 5:00pm, for “afternoon nap” (and by everything, I mean the one coffee shop, produce stand, and the one tiny grocery store at the top of the hill). We learned this rule the hard way after waiting until after 1pm the first day to try and get some lunch and hopelessly stared at the clock until something finally opened.
  3. Less than 200 people apparently live on this 8 mile strip of island, although we couldn’t find any of them. We did, however, find two completely abandoned towns (complete with abandoned cars that had grown into the weeds). Al and I became convinced that the island was once overrun with zombies and abandoned by humanity. I’ll do some research and get back to you on that.

Once we came to terms with these facts, we set our expectations for what life on Molat would be like; it would be up to us to entertain ourselves for three days. Luckily, we had a really stunning backdrop to work with:

 

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mountains AND ocean?! you really can have it all.

It might be hard to understand (I can already imagine myself scoffing at reading this while sitting at my desk a year ago) but it took some adjusting to realize just how much uninterrupted free time we had. I found myself mentally struggling with how to use all of this time. I felt an instant pull to make sure I was being as productive as possible with all of the empty hours in which to fill. I immediately thought about all the things I could get done; write blog posts, organize our pictures, hand wash all of our laundry. I reasoned with myself that I should do these things because I have the time. 

I realized as soon as these thoughts crossed my mind, that I was repeating the same exhausting mental cycle that I was so conditioned to doing at home. Constantly going through the (seemingly never ending) mental checklist of all the things I needed to do, or should be doing. It was the same pattern, in a different setting.

I thought back to why we booked this Airbnb in the first place. For the past few years in Chicago, it was extremely difficult for me to mentally relax. I don’t consider myself an uptight person by any means, but I have an incessant (and extremely) annoying internal dialogue that never shuts up.

One example of how distracted my mind has become is in my lack of new books digested over the years. Reading is one of my favorite things to do, but in the past two years in Chicago, I rarely picked up any books because my mind was never able to focus on the words. I would find myself pages into a book before I realized I couldn’t remember a single thing I had read. The funny thing was, I could easily spend hours numbing my brain to various series on Netflix, but I could not bring myself to read past the first few pages of a book. This was a problem for me.

Even on this trip so far, we have been on the move and constantly busy, that I hadn’t yet experienced the mental release that I was hoping would come. I naively assumed that because I wouldn’t be working, my mind would just naturally relax and unwind. I was (and am) surprised to find out that this was not the case. Apparently I am going to have to put a little bit of effort into enjoying myself.

So, that’s what I did in Molat. I worked at relaxing (I know, sounds like an oxymoron), but mostly, I worked on quieting my mind for a change. Each time I found myself getting distracted with unnecessary worry or thoughts, I would force myself to shut them down and just be present.

Essentially, I was telling the nagging voice in my head that it was not invited to join me in Molat.

Al and I spent hours reading. We would rotate between an hour of reading and an hour of swimming laps in the bay. We’d spend the afternoons exploring some of the empty beaches around the islands, and come back in time for our 4pm pizza (first customers right when it opened).

 

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Exploring the Island

 

Our evenings were usually spent going for walks, reading, writing, or driving frantically to the west of the island, chasing the last moments of the sunset.

 

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one of the best sunsets we’ve seen.

Each day as I would swim in the ocean, I would look out to the open sea and then back at the tiny harbor dotted with colorful buildings, and in these moments, my mind was quiet. When it finally spoke up, it would only say:

This is awesome. 

 

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I ran across this quote from a Slovenian woman named Natasa Kelhar who has been making frequent trips to Molat for over 30 years. She was able to describe the island in a way that I felt was so in line with our experience, and I realized how lucky we were to have been able to experience the magic of Molat:

The island makes you feel like you have isolated yourself from the world. You are here on the island and the rest of the people are there on the mainland. It’s kind of like putting more focus on fewer people that are around you. There isn’t too much of anything. When you go to an island like this, you prepare yourself for a different and a new experience. You are going to meet yourself and you will do things in a different way. If you are open for it – then it is great. It takes you out of your daily automatism.

Our time in Molat was a lesson in being present, and really appreciating the simplicity of each day. It was something that I hadn’t done in so long. There were no city sirens to complain about, no loud groups of tourists ruining the moment, and not a single reason for us to set an alarm clock.

Just the sea and a good book waiting to be read.

And then, after I spent enough time appreciating life and how amazing the moment was, I would slowly swim back to the harbor and think:

Please let it be 4pm so I can finally get some pizza.

 

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Still probably thinking about pizza in this very moment.

 

Pizza cravings aside, we left Molat recharged and ready to take on more of Croatia, along with the inevitable crowds. I will always have this little island to thank for reminding me how important it is to take time to simply relax.

 

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12 Comments · Labels: Croatia, Travel

August 23, 2016

The Vacation is Over in Croatia

August 23, 2016

Al and I have been away from home now for a few days short of three weeks. Our first week in Slovenia was a glorious montage of exciting new places, endless adventures, delicious food, and stunningly beautiful surroundings. On our last night in Slovenia, we swam in the sea; our heads bobbing up and down as we took in the panoramic view of Piran’s 600 year old skyline.

It was the perfect way to end our last night in our first country, filled with happiness, just like every day in Slovenia had been so far.

 

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You’d be surprised at how difficult it was to take this.

It wasn’t long before I started to wonder how long this feeling could last. Up until then, we were still spending each day walking around in a euphoric haze. In the back of my mind I knew the haze was bound to clear soon. Even though I was enjoying every moment, I was still catching myself looking over my shoulder after each perfect day, glancing up at the clouds waiting for the inevitable shit storm to roll in. It had to come eventually. Things couldn’t go on this way much longer.

I told my dad over FaceTime that I felt like everything was too good to be true. I had never experienced such a positive transition into long-term travel before, or into anything before, for that matter. This particular transition was going so well, that it made me nervous.

Over dinner that night, Al and I talked about this idea and realized that everything still had that vacation feeling to it, but since we weren’t on vacation, it was confusing. The longest vacation either of us have ever taken while working at home was two consecutive weeks (which, sadly, is actually considerably longer than many people in the US are able to take at any given time). We were still under the two-week mark at this point, so our brains were still filing our current experience accordingly, putting our default emotional setting squarely on ‘vacation mode.’

Anyone who enjoys a good vacation might understand the shift that happens when you are on one. Your mind slowly detaches itself from whatever it is you typically spend your non-vacation time thinking about. Time goes from revolving around a strict schedule, to an infinite stretch of freedom. You might spend your entire day rotating between reading and sleeping, or choose to fill it with endless activities and adventures.

The point is, on vacation, your day belongs to you. It’s your time. Your choice. Eventually the time runs out, and you pack it up and return back to “normal” life hopefully refreshed, and refocus on whatever daily obligations fill up the calendar.

So, that is the frame I was putting my mind in to understand how I was feeling every single day. Exactly as though I was on a vacation.

I worried about when the other shoe was going to drop, thinking that it was just unavoidable that once you get used to something, even something as exciting as travelling the world, the shine will eventually start to dull.

It was like there was part of me that still thought I might wake up after the two-week period ended, and find myself sitting back behind my old desk, as though this whole thing never happened.

Then, the next day, we left Slovenia and crossed over the border to Croatia, on the way to our first city, Pula.

We were sad to leave Slovenia, but made a pact almost immediately that we were going to do everything in our power to not compare everything we did in Croatia to our time in Slovenia. This would prove to be slightly more difficult at first than I realized.

Once we crossed the border into Croatia, it was like everything shifted slightly, but just enough that it was instantly noticeable. The landscape became flatter and drier, and the sky became just a little bit darker. Every five minutes, it seemed like we were stopped in the middle of the road to pay some outrageous toll fee, or to be handed a piece of paper advertising 40% of admission into a huge obnoxious Croatian water park.

I tried really hard not to think about turning the car around to the green rolling hills and stunning mountain ranges we had just left behind in the magical land of Slovenia.

We made several stops along the way in Pula, none of which seemed to work out for us. The caves we tried to visit were too crowded, so we didn’t go in. We stopped over in the town of Rovinj, a touristic city on the western side of the Istrian peninsula, and it was completely packed with people, to the point that we could hardly walk around.

 

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Rovinj

 

At one point, we were walking down a long set of marble stairs in the middle of the city. There was a huge family of tourists taking up the entire stairway. I turned to Al to vocalize my irritation with them, and the second the first word moved from my brain to my mouth, I felt my feet fly out from under me. I tumbled down the stairs with my camera held high in the air, like a bouncing clumsy cartoon character. I fell down the stairs in front of the entire family I was getting ready to complain about. They understandably couldn’t hold in their laughter at me (and neither could Al, for that matter). A lesson in instant Karma, learned the hard way

I think it was then, lying on my ass at the bottom of the stairs in the middle of a crowded city, that I realized the vacation was over.

After I recovered, Al and I left Rovinj, and headed towards Pula. Once we arrived to Pula, we realized really quickly that the two days we had booked to spend there were more than enough. It was another crowded city, but unlike the other cities we had driven through, it didn’t have the occasional charm or cleanliness to balance it out. We were constantly stuck in traffic, or behind masses of people.

The main point of interest was the old Roman amphitheater, which is the 6th largest remaining Roman amphitheater in the world, something we genuinely enjoyed seeing:

 

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Amphitheaters aside, we felt like we couldn’t wait to move on from Pula. The next day, we decided to drive about 25 minutes out of the city in search of something good to find, or at the very least some solitude. We stumbled across a beautiful national park. We spent the day reading, exploring, and swimming. I was finally starting to feel a little bit more fondly towards Croatia.

 

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Soaking up the lack of other people.

 

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A couple days later, as we drove out of Pula, we both agreed that we had actually enjoyed our time there, despite all of the things that went wrong. Every moment wasn’t perfect (far from it), but we were able to find parts that we enjoyed and laugh about all of the things that we didn’t. We had made Pula fun, in spite of Pula itself.

I realized then that I no longer cared if things were perfect anymore. When I went on vacations at home, they carried so much expectation because I was so unhappy with my daily life. I always wanted to make sure I was optimizing every minute of freedom I had, because I could literally feel the clock running out each second. The last thing I wanted was to return home from a vacation feeling less rested than when I left.

The two-week mark had officially passed, and although I was right to think things would feel a bit differently, I was wrong to associate it with the negative feelings connected with the end of a vacation.

This trip is not a vacation. This trip is my life now. I am constantly learning and growing, and often that means I am uncomfortable. Some days will be amazing beyond belief, and some days will be irritable, frustrating, filled with homesickness, and sometimes, even boring.

Even when we were lost in the middle of a busy intersection, weak with hunger, and struggling to read the street signs for clues, I was frustrated, but I wasn’t truly miserable. Not even comparable to the kind of miserable I had felt so often before. And even sitting in my lowest feelings of the trip so far, I still didn’t wish I was back in Chicago, or anywhere else, or doing anything differently.

This may seem pretty obvious to most people, but it was a refreshing realization for me. What I didn’t realize before, but do now, is that bad times aren’t really that bad when you are feeling genuinely happy internally.

Sometimes you don’t realize how unhappy you were before, until you realize how happy you are now.

Anyway, it turns out all I really needed to do was just have a little bit of patience because Croatia started to turn around for us; dramatically and almost instantly after leaving Pula. We headed to Plitvicka for a night to visit the famous Plitvicka National Park (a park of glorious lakes and waterfalls).

 

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It rained the entire day, but Al and I still considered ourselves lucky, because it meant we got the entire park to ourselves for hours. When we were leaving around noon, the rain had cleared and the line to get into the parks was over a mile long. We’d never been so thankful for the rain.

Unfortunately, my pictures are limited because of the weather, but just trust me that it was amazing.

After Plitvice, we drove to Zadar and the dry red landscapes from our first day in Croatia were completely forgotten:

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So pretty.

 

I finally understood why everyone gushes over Croatia. It seemed like we were greeted with a new landscape every half hour:

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Country hills, complete with flocks of sheep.

Zadar was another busy city, but in a much better way than Pula (no offense to Pula, I’m sure there are plenty of people who love it there). Zadar was recently named Europe’s best destination of 2016. At first, we weren’t completely blown away, but the more time we spent in Zadar, the more we ‘got it’:

 

 

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Zadar’s main square

 

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Apparently Alfred Hitchcock visited Zadar in 1964, and said they had the most beautiful sunset he’d ever seen. A quote you cannot avoid hearing from the minute you step in Zadar.

 

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Everyone spending all evening listening to live music, enjoying their drinks.

 

It was in Zadar that I found myself really falling in love with Croatia. It wasn’t in the instantaneous, head over heels way that we reacted with Slovenia, but it didn’t make it any less meaningful.

Now, we’re settled into a tiny, beautiful island town a few hours off the coast of Zadar (which I’ll save for my next post) and I can officially say, now that we’re in Croatia, the vacation is over.

And for the first time in as long as I can remember, I’m actually glad the vacation is over, because even when it is nowhere near perfect, ‘real life’ is so much better.

 

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6 Comments · Labels: Croatia, Life, Travel

August 19, 2016

Overcoming Anxiety to Travel: A post from Al

August 19, 2016

The day Al and I left on this trip, I wrote this post about how I worried if our trip would be everything we hoped, and how my fears were eventually diminished after I thought about how the past 10 years seemed to be an accumulation of moments leading us to this exact experience. I have referenced a few times on this blog that Al and I have dreamed of this trip for the better part of a decade, but we never knew if it would be something we could realistically make happen.

There were several reasons for this, but one of the biggest obstacles for us is one that only our closest friends and family were aware of.  For the past 10 years, Al has dealt with a severe form of anxiety that only seemed to worsen over time. Although we always dreamed of traveling the world together since we first became best friends, the type of anxiety that took hold over Al was so intense, that it made our dream not only unreachable, but something that we simply weren’t able to consider for years.

This type of anxiety can be very difficult for people who have not experienced it to understand. It is completely separate from getting a heightened sense of nerves in a particular situation, and is not comparable to the feeling many of us have when we throw around the phrase, “This is giving me anxiety” when we are stuck somewhere we don’t want to be. Someone who experiences this level of anxiety cannot be told to simply “calm down” or “look at the bright side” and be expected to turn it around in a few days.

There was a point in our lives when Al couldn’t be near crowds or get in any type of public transportation for almost a year. How does someone go from not being able to get in a car, train, or bus, to confidently driving and navigating his way through several foreign countries he has never stepped foot in? (lets be honest, I’m doing zero of the driving over here). Al worked on beating his anxiety non-stop for nearly a decade. It was an extremely difficult and painful road, with endless ups and downs. Al was relentless in his pursuit of overcoming his anxiety, and ultimately was successful in learning how to manage life with it, in order to live the type of life he wanted for himself.

These are the things that I thought of the day we left for this trip. I thought about all of the doctors offices, emergency room visits, and the years of work it took to get here. I thought about how strong and amazing my husband is, and how much he has had to overcome to get himself to this point where we are able to live out our dream together.

Al’s journey is not my story to tell, but I asked him to write a post about his experience, and he agreed, knowing it is an extremely personal experience to share with the internet. So here it is, the story of Al, in his own words.

 

 

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Several years ago, I made peace with having anxiety for the rest of my life. As time went on, it had grown, gotten worse, evolved, and essentially became a part of who I was; I had forgotten who I was without it. I was married to my medication and had rationalized that everybody has their “thing” they struggle with in life; mine will be anxiety. It sounds like a pessimistic way of looking at things but by then, anxiety was my life and everything revolved around it.

I had experienced my first bout with anxiety when I was 19. My life turned upside-down and I could no longer function as a regular human being.  I would experience frantic feelings of fright, overwhelming tingling sensations, and assumed the world around me would collapse because of the overload in my brain. What I didn’t realize at the time was I was having clinically defined panic attack after panic attack.  Megan and I would often visit the emergency room since I thought immediate medical attention was needed to cure these crazy-strong reactions. Visit after visit resulted in nothing on the doctor’s side; even though I was convinced there was some new medical discovery lodged in an area of my brain. However, doctors seem to be VERY good at their jobs and I was sent home with pamphlets on anxiety and a referral to a psychiatrist. I struggled for years with this notion that there wasn’t something physically wrong with me; the episodes were so freakish and foreign, and I responded with such alarm, that I assumed I was ailed with something so beyond modern medicine and I was the first case in human history. Regardless, in my mind, I was very much broken and desperately needed fixing.

From my perspective, life felt “unreal”.  I was detached from all aspects of my life: school, friends, family, Megan, etc. I had become a shell of person.  It may be difficult to grasp, but imagine waking up in a different body and mind every single day but still thinking, “I know there is some old part of me in here, but I’ll never find it.”

Despite my loneliness, I was supported by everyone around me.  People knew I was ill and wanted to help me in any way they knew how. I was referred to endless psychiatrists, acupuncturists, neurologists, in constant hope that they would find the thing that plagued me. Life became a series of appointments and in between these appointments; states of panic and depression. I would frequently refuse to leave my room and constantly avoided crowds or any social situations for fear that they would trigger more and more feelings of helplessness.

However, time moved forward.  My life became these feelings day in and day out. You can’t get used to it, but your mind does eventually find its new “normal” and with anxiety, when a new sense of comfort is found, your brain will seek out newer thoughts, feelings, and experiences to make you panic.  I became afraid of things like space, long strips of road, and things in the vaguest terms, unknown. I started to obsess over the location of exits. If and when I needed it, what was the fastest way out of a situation? We sat in aisles of movie theatres, had tables near the entrance of restaurants; everywhere I went I needed to know how to leave immediately.  As a result, I was afraid of travel. How could I spend time in a place that was so closed-off and crowded for an extended period of time without any way out? Simply put, I couldn’t. It was a common occurrence for me to frantically exit dinners, movies, buses, trains, etc. because I was so overwhelmed by fear. As a result, I would leave. I couldn’t stand that feeling for any longer than a few minutes and would need to vacate as soon as possible to make myself feel better.

So onto the meaning of this post….a dream to travel is absolutely destroyed when you have to factor in all the aforementioned shit.  It became so bad that simply pushing through the fear was impossible. Crowded city centers? No way. Underground trains? Forget it. 10+ hour plane rides? Fuck you! As a result, our dream of long-term, worldwide travel was indefinitely put on hold until I miraculously figured out a way to combat it.

I’ll save you the many years of stumbles and falls through therapy and panic attacks since they became a staple of my life. More importantly, I’ll get to the healing.

I started working for Northwestern University in the summer of 2013 and found a psychiatrist nearby that I could visit on a monthly basis. As my Nth psychiatrist, we went through the mundane process of telling my story through the years of anxiety and formed a plan for the coming months.  On top of talking things out, your psychiatrist’s goal is to find that perfect blend of medication that would help curb your debilitating anxiety.  Side note- I had taken the same medication for roughly eight years that it became my life preserver; without it, I was drowning.  As a result, I continued with my stapled anxiety meds and tried a new concoction my doctor dreamed up for me.

Our monthly meetings became routine, and I hadn’t noticed any significant strides in my anxiety.  However, my doctor urged me to try this therapy a fellow colleague specialized in called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT.  Up to this point, I had tried various techniques but found the most effective treatment was through medication; but saw no harm in trying and agreed to schedule a meeting with this doctor.

You know how in certain movies when the music suddenly changes to cue the moviegoer that something is about to happen? Well imagine this scene of me waiting to see this new doctor: the typical waiting room, magazines strewn about the table, the receptionist chatting with an arriving patient; everything I’ve experienced over and over again for years. Now cue the curious and upbeat music followed by “Alex Reinhardt, Dr. Young will see you now.”  Little did I know that I was heading to an office that will eventually change my life forever.

First off, I believe in past lives and I believe in timing. So when I began chatting with Dr. Young for my first visit, I knew I was chatting with an old friend and this meeting was supposed to happen. We had talked about what has plagued me for so long and how it has impacted my life but most importantly, we talked about what I was thinking in these moments of disarray, agitation, and panic.

The root of CBT is to for the patient to UNDERSTAND WHY they think the way they do and teach you that your thoughts influence your behavior.  People don’t wake up one day and are simply unable to sit in a movie theater; there are thoughts and processes in one’s mind that make us act this way and that is what needs to be unraveled and understood. Thus began the long process of detailing every situation I experienced anxiety and meticulously analyzing what made it so unbearable. With much fewer words, we then asked a series of hypothetical questions of “what’s the worst that could happen?” What if I vomited on the crowded train to work? What’s the worst that could happen? Well, I would get off at the next stop, walk home (embarrassed), take a shower, and maybe sit in shame for the next few days but that is about it. Would I become a crazy lunatic? No. Would my friends and family still love me? Yes. Would I lose my job? No. What would the people on the train think? They would have either helped me or avoided me. I was forced to think realistically, not dream up situations that have never once happened to me before. Worst case scenario, there wasn’t an outcome that would result in my life falling apart.  I would still be a smart, funny, caring human being who happened to ralph on the train.

The funny thing is, I’ve never actually puked on the train. Not once in my entire life. Nor have I passed out in a restaurant. I’ve also never taken my shirt off and run up and down the aisle of a plane (yes, an actual fear I’ve had…) That is what clicked for me during this process of CBT. This fear is based on no previous experience and therefore has no merit on creating ACTUAL fear. As this notion sunk in, the anxiety began to shrink bit by bit.

Another portion of CBT is challenging your anxiety. While armed with the previous paragraphs, I was tasked to experience as many panic-inducing situations as possible: I held my breath on crowded trains, spun in circles for minutes, watched existential documentaries, and forced myself to hyperventilate.  I began to see the world as my testing ground for my therapy and was motivated to try any and all situations to beat this thing. As a result, life became more livable. I eventually had to plan much less for train rides, dinners out, social situations and started to see things outside of finding exits, medication, and that “broken” part of my brain.

My life had suffered long enough. My dreams had been put on hold too long. I had realized that nothing had become more frustrating than the image of my 18-year-old self who was full of inspiration and vigor to travel the world; that version of myself was alive but has been beaten down by the years upon years of fear and doubt.

As my therapy progressed, I was challenging the world. Meg and I jumped out of a plane, I floated in a sensory deprivation tank (look it up), and began enjoying small versions of travel: road trips, domestic flights, etc. What I eventuality began to realize is that the long standing dream of long term travel was going to become a reality.

So here I am now. I’m in Croatia with my wife; writing about my anxiety rather than experiencing it. To get here I’ve flown 10+ hours, driven through countless country roads, walked through tourist ridden streets, eaten in many centrally seated tables at restaurants and I wake up each morning wanting more.

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11 Comments · Labels: Life, Travel

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